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What women wished you knew about eating pussy

How to Be Great at Eating Pussy

If you want to learn five ways to upgrade your pussy eating skills, this is the blog post for you. 

A lot of guys are terrible at eating pussy

How do I know?

Women used to tell me when I was more promiscuous and not in a monogamous relationship.

After going down on them, they’d say,

“Wow. Most men have no idea what they’re doing. That was refreshing”.

Not all the time, of course. But often enough to know it’s a problem.

Why are men so bad at it?

Either because they don’t like doing it, or they have no idea what they’re doing.

Don’t despair, gentlemen (and women who want to get better at eating pussy); read on to upgrade your pussy eating skills in five simple ways.

Not gonna lie, I love oral sex

I do. I’ve eaten a lot of pussy over the years.

It sounds vulgar when I put it that way, but it is what it is.

If you’ve been sexually active for 20 years, there’s a good chance you’ve either eaten a lot of pussy or sucked a lot of dick. Or maybe not, who knows (shoutout to the asexual folks in the house!)

Hopefully, you’re good at it by now. Some of you are, and some of you aren’t.

I can count on one hand the times when I haven’t gone down on my partner during a lovemaking session.

That’s great for my lovers because, for the most part, women (and pussy owners who don’t identify as women)love oral sex. They go nuts for great oral sex.

But bad oral sex? No one likes bad oral sex.

Life is too short for bad pizza (and bad sex)

Someone once said that sex is like pizza. Even bad pizza is good, and the same goes for sex.

I couldn’t disagree more.

Ain’t nobody got time for bad pizza or bad sex. That includes bad oral sex.

At best, it’s just meh, and at worst, it can hurt, be super awkward, and completely ruin the moment.

No thanks. That’s a hard pass for me. I’d rather stay at home with my dog and a good book than have to suffer through an awkward, painful blowjob.

And I’m guessing you feel the same way. No awkward, painful oral sex for you either.

When is comes to orgasms, ladies first

Eating pussy is the most efficient way I’ve found to make a woman orgasm.

Women reach orgasm quicker and more often from oral sex than from penetrative sex.

Most women can’t orgasm from penetration alone. There has to be some clitoral stimulation either before or during penetration for an orgasm to happen.

I like it when my partner’s orgasm.

I try to make sure they orgasm before I orgasm. Orgasm isn’t the goal of sex, but it’s certainly a nice side effect—the more, the merrier.

When men ejaculate, their desire to continue having sex decreases significantly (for the most part).

The same applies to me, so if my partner wants to orgasm, I’ll try to make sure that happens through plenty of foreplay and clitoral stimulation before I orgasm.

And while I consider myself good at giving oral sex, I didn’t always. Along the way, I picked up a few techniques that dramatically increased my partners enjoyment (and my comfort).

Keep in mind; this isn’t a step by step guide; just five techniques to making you better at eating pussy.

Oh, and make sure you talk about your sexual health and your safer sex practices before getting naked to make sure you’re both doing your part to stay safe while having fun.

Alright, let’s dive in.

 5 easy ways to be great at eating pussy

1. Take your time

Go slow in everything you do.

That means foreplay and lots of it. Or whatever you call the part before the sex part.

I love foreplay.

It turns me on and cranks my partner’s arousal up significantly.

It’s a win-win because women rarely get enough foreplay.

Men tend just to stick it in and forget all about the foreplay.

I’m not saying there isn’t a time and a place for a quickie, but those moments are few and far between.

Take time exploring your partner’s body.

Explore everything.

Her back, her thighs, the back of her knees, the nape of her neck.

Every single body part.

Try to lick and kiss every part of her body.

Except for her pussy.

Stay away from the pussy as much as possible.

You can graze her outer lips or brush up against her bush, but under no circumstance are you to touch her pussy for at least 20 minutes.

Hands off the pussy, homie.

It’s a great way to get her riled up and remind you to concentrate on other parts of her body.

Her pussy isn’t the only erogenous zone. Find five areas that drive your partner wild, and remember them for next time.

The slower you go, the crazier she’ll get.

Once she’s writhing and thrusting her pussy at you, that’s a great indicator that she’s dying for you to lick her.

Related Podcast Episode: How To Be An Ethical Hookup

2. Get comfortable

Women take longer to reach a peak state of arousal than men do.

If you care about your partner’s pleasure, and you know that most women can’t reach orgasm through penetration alone (no matter how awesome you think your dick is), that means settling in for more than five minutes of eating pussy.

Set yourself up for success and get cozy as fuck.

You don’t want to be scrunched up on all fours or halfway falling off the bed.

Ask your partner to scoot up on the bed and to orient herself on a diagonal so you can cozy up between her legs without falling off the bed.

The more comfortable you are, the better off you’ll be.

Related Podcast Episode: How to Have Great Sex

3. Pay attention

Not sure how to tell if what you’re doing is working? Curious if your partner is getting turned on? Wondering if they’re getting close to orgasm?

Pay attention to your partner because she’s most likely giving you all the information you need to know.

Pay close attention to how she moves her body.

Is she subtly rotating her hips with your timing or thrusting into your mouth to meet your tongue? Is her skin getting flushed and is she moaning?

Is her clitoris swelling or is she getting a bit wetter? Or a lot wetter? Keep in mind that wetness doesn’t necessarily indicate arousal, though it is one of the factors that might indicate arousal, or contribute to it.

Can you see moisture dripping from her pussy?

Is she grabbing your head and holding it to her pussy and yelling,

“DON’T STOP.”

Keep it up, and you might make your partner come.

Notice what happens when you switch something up.

What happens when you increase the tempo and switch up the pressure?

Notice her movements when you add some stimulation (playing with her nipples, inserting fingers into her vagina, putting pressure on her mons pubis).

It’s important to notice whether any change has a positive effect on her arousal.

Did she pull away slightly when you increased the pressure of your tongue on her clitoris?

Did she say “don’t do that” when you tried to slide your finger in her anus without asking her permission?

These are all possible signs (except that last one, that’s a definite sign) that whatever you’re doing doesn’t feel great.

Pay attention and look at her face. Notice her chest. Pay attention to her breathing. Listen to her moaning. Notice how she moves her body.

Is she clutching the sheets?

She’s giving you almost all the information you need. You just have to look for the signs.

Related Podcast Episode: I Gave Erotic Massages to Women 

4. Use your words

I’m not a mind reader. And nor are you.

While I’ve gotten better at identifying the nonverbal signs, nothing beats talking to your partner while going down on them to know if what you’re doing is working.

I’ve developed some techniques that I routinely employ to bring pleasure to my partners, but everyone is different. What might feel fantastic to one woman might not to another.

Being able to talk about sex is a significant turn on. Plus, it’ll get you the information you need to help your partner achieve orgasm.

“Does this feel good?”

“Do you prefer constant pressure on your G Spot, or do you like the in and out motion?”

“Do you like a circular motion on your clitoris or more of an up and down motion?”

“Should I use the flat part of my tongue or the tip of my tongue? Here, let me try both and tell me which you prefer”.

Women are turned on by men who can effectively talk about sex while having sex. 

The best way to find out if what you’re doing is working is to ask.

Experts don’t guess.

Read More: How To Talk About Sexual Health For The First Time

5. Don’t quit before the miracle happens

Women are different than men. You can’t just hammer the clit to orgasm the way you beat your penis : )

Women take longer to reach a state of arousal and to reach orgasm.

When you’re eating pussy, settle in. Get comfortable, have fun, take it slow, and don’t stop until your partner asks you to stop.

Often the miracle orgasm is right around the corner, and if you don’t rush it, you’ll have a much better chance of helping your partner reach orgasm.

And for God’s sake, when your partner yells “don’t stop,” whatever you do, don’t stop. Don’t change a thing. If your tongue gets sore and your neck starts to crick, suck it up and keep going.

Don’t stop eating her pussy until she physically pulls your face off her pussy, or says, “you can stop now” or “I’d like you to fuck me now, please.”

Until one of those two things happens, don’t stop.

Read More: What You Need To Know About Having Sex at Burning Man

Remember the big gun of eating pussy

I’ve learned a lot about how to please women over the years, especially with my hands and mouth.

But I still always fall back on using the most effective tool of all, my words, and my ability to listen to exactly what my partner wants and how I can help.

The best way to eat pussy is slowly, with no agenda other than to bring pleasure to your partner.

If your partner is capable of having a clitoral orgasm through oral sex (not all women can) and your skills are on point, you’ll make her day (and maybe her week depending on how many useless pussy eaters have come before you).

Originally posted 2016. Updated Jan 2021

Shaun Galanos

Shaun Galanos is a love coach and course creator. He teaches communication and intimacy tools for better relationships and more love.

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